Unable

I stand unable to express myself, and unsure of how I feel. In mintues, everything I thought I knew collapsed around me. I realised that I knew absolutely nothing. I had so many questions, my questions have been answered, but somehow I am still not satisfied. I don't know how I feel. It is a huge wave of confusion, anger, sadness, happiness, and maybe freedom. Thinking about it makes me feel sick. In ways I am very real and present, and in others I am completely non existant. I find the whole situation ridiculous and I wish I could look upon it from an omnicient place in the clouds where I have nothing to feel about it at all. I feel broken in many ways, and yet relieved in yet more ways.
I feel physically tired from crying. My heart is both aching and rejoicing. I lie confused. I'm doing all I can to forget about it. It pops back up everytime I succesfully push it to the back of my mind. I was living a lie, or acctually, someone very close to me was living a complete lie and it has affected me greatly. I think the only way to really let it go is to write about it. Yet I'm not sure what to write. If I can't organize my thoughts and feelings, then how the hell am I supposed to organize a piece of writing?
I need something else to worry myself about. I need to ignore the fact that I was lied to my whole life, and move on. I need to cry it all out, but I think I've already dried my tearducts out.
I feel like shit.
Help.